The Hidden Fountain

Standing Still

2006-09-13T06:41:00.000+02:00

Where are you heading...and are you leaving today or tomorrow?

Still facing some of the biggest decisions I've had to make in my life I've been lead to think a lot about the eternal purposes of God. The more and more my life has opened up and I've looked at options before me the more and more I find that the only things that matter are those thing that are going to last forever. The Kingdom of God - that which is coming and that which God is making at this very time in and through each and every day - seems be the thing with which we, who are seeking to follow God, should concern ourselves most. Certainly, as I look and seek to choose a path for myself I find that the bigger the question or possibility before me the more I must weigh it in the light of eternity and the service of the Kingdom.

It's been a difficult process and I hardly feel able to comment having not yet come to a final decision with all that is before me. I wanted to share something that has made itself very evident to me. God is on the move. This isn't some attempt at prophecy nor do I mean it as a cliche statement. It's nothing new. Yet it's something that I think sometimes we forget. Sometimes I think we look at our lives and all that's going on, we think about our plans and where we are going, we think maybe about the world, and we think of God as an observer watching us move along before Him and eager to get involved. Yet the truth is that whether our lives seem to be in a whirlwind or seem to be going nowhere, there is no-one who is moving or acting as much or as fast as God.

The first time we see God is in Genesis, hovering, brooding, preparing, right before He launches into creation, and He hasn't stopped acting or moving since. 2 Corinthians 5:18-21 teaches us that the purpose of God on Earth has been our reconciliation to Him. It has been His purpose through history, is His purpose every day we live on Earth and will not be complete until we rest with Him in eternity beyond this Earth. God is moving, He has plans laid out and nothing can interfere with these, although He gives each of us the option to be involved with Him in them; to take part in His creation of eternity.

It's an amazing thought, and as I said, with my having been stood still in this one spot for such a long time the truth of living for the eternal has begun to glow brighter and brighter before me until it began to glare. As we stand and each day passes so the purposes of God roll on. He works in every life that exists upon this Earth, and no doubt also in governments and actions spanning generations, defying human memory and beyond any human mind. Each day we rise to greet a new morning and watch another day come and another day go. As Christians what are we doing with this time and what are the meditations of our hearts? Are we standing still, are we moving in circles. Are our hearts full of plans and desires so that whilst we acknowledge God and try to seek Him we do not consider the movement of His plans or our place in them? I have come to realise that my life may be still, but God's is not. I could vanish from this Earth tomorrow and God could erase every memory of me, and His purposes will stand - with or without me.

Often times I've imagined great things for my life, thought big ideas and dreamed great dreams, dreams of being woven into the plans of God but it occurs to me, and I've heard it before in Oswald Chambers, that we wait for the great things to come at the peril of today. Oswald's reading for September 10th speaks something to this. My whole life, all the ministry I will ever be able to do is that which is before me today. I can think of how I might encourage many in far away places or in the setting of some church or other, yet those are just possibilities that don't exist yet. They are fancies compared to the real people and opportunities I have around me today. Certainly God prepares things for us to do and will no doubt bring the future things to pass yet the only doorway I have to the future is today. I can and will never get to the plans of tomorrow if I am standing still today, or moving with consideration of Him.

There's more on this that I want to write but rather than open up another can of worms right now I think I want to keep the point simple. As Christians we cannot now ignore the reality which has been opened up to us. We cannot relegate the truth of eternity to the realm of future fantasy as though we will reach it eventually but we can forget about it because it has no bearing upon how things are now. Nor can we acknowledge the reality that eternity is in progress working and being created now, and continue to live according to the boundaries and values the rest of the world uses, leaving our life or actions unaltered, undevoted.

I want to encourage every Christian to truly consider the revelations and the lessons of the Gospel and the realisation that we can spend our lives doing many things but only God's Kingdom will remain. All other kingdoms, all other empires and establishments, lines and families will come to an end. It's a stunning truth but I believe it's a truth nevertheless, that the only thing worth devoting our lives to is God and His service, if we don't devote ourselves to that then we may as well not devote ourselves to anything at all - the time may pass quicker but the end result will be the same.

So it is I find that each day I come to the Lord and I find hope. Whatever the past, however blank the future appears to be, I know that my God is in the present and He is moving, moving fast and with great purpose, and each day He beckons me to join Him on His ride through time; to go with Him on this eternal adventure. I have to choose fast, because the day passes quickly and before I know it I could find another one wasted. If it does end up that way, at whatever point I come to my senses He is always everywhere and always ready to take me onboard, but I don't have to waste it. That first day might not be spectacular or all that I dreamed I might ever do but it is the doorway to the future, the first step into the great plans of God. Each morning I know that I have a choice, and having realised that and knowing that there is nothing else I step up and each day I make that choice, I ask Him, "Lord, on this day, whether tomorrow comes or not, weave me into Your plan." From then on I keep my ear to the ground, seek to live intentionally for the purposes of God and spend whatever time I can with Him or seeking Him.

My God is good, and I have decisions to make, as do we all. As for me, I will surrender my circling to the Lord and choose Him, what about you?

God bless,

G.

Roads and Red Tides

2006-08-08T02:42:00.000+02:00

Robert Frost (1874-1963)

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

For almost two years now I've stood at a crossroads. Partly coming from circumstance and shifting situations, yet I know that God is there too. During this time my life has come to a halt. Working has ceased, my routine has crumbled down to the bottom line - leaving only what is necessary to move from day to day - and though sometimes others call me over to help them with something on their path, when I return to my own those here I am.

I’ve been here now for what feels like a very long time. For these two years all my journeying has been inward not outward. Who I am inside has been moving on or shuffling round but my feet have not budged. I see so much darkness inside, at times I feel as though I will never get anywhere I desired, that I am destined to be stuck in a cave away from everyone else. I wonder, “How far was Gollum before he couldn't come back?” I’m always wrestling though because I can't give up - even if I'm not sure I'll win. Always pondering too about that outward decision and which path to take. Sometimes it feels as if I'll never take either and will be stuck here forever. Is this how it was supposed to be?

I look at myself and wonder who I've become. Perhaps this is who I've always been only now the curtain is pushed back, the uniform is off, and here is what has always lied beneath, certainly I am not now where or who I thought I would be. So I look back to try to find myself, to try to find some anchoring truth to help me decide, to help me move on dependable ground, to make the right decision even if it isn't the easiest.

The story wouldn't be complete, however, if I didn't mention there wasn't hope. Though I see much darkness now and the curtain is removed yet is this not a necessary step? Better to have the curtain pulled back and begin the long road to restoration than wander around concealed, even to myself, and never know the truth or have integrity. That is one of my greatest desires, to be sound, to be integrity. I suppose it is a part of the Truth which I value so much, more than anything. Truth in reason, truth in knowing, truth in being, even my own being. I want to be true.

Therefore, seeing reality is a part of that, yet that reality now battles with the other desire within me - to be good. At times I want to be good so much that I am willing to sacrifice truth that I may have it - at least - the appearance of it. It can't last though because reality…is. What's more, my desire for truth will not let me rest like that.

Truth and goodness, they keep me moving on. Though sometimes reality dictates the pace and, oh, how slow it has often seemed, especially now, especially recently.

So here I am sat at that crossroads with my chest pulled apart and looking into my own heart. So much of it has been blacker than I imagined, and how surprisingly mysterious. Yet the truth is that it is not all black. The goodness wasn't all a veil. Some of it is red. Some deep red, and I think, just maybe, the black is in parts becoming red too. I think it's getting better.

Seeing that makes me think of something else that's true - it lifts my eyes to a truth that sometimes I've forgotten but when I remember it, I know there's hope and it gives me joy. The reason I know that there is red, there reason I know it has gotten redder, is because of the Blood.

In all my failings, in all my worthlessness and lack of direction I am truly pitiful and barely a man. I am a small tiny drop in an ocean of generations. Years go by, men live and die and are born. Nations and ages pass. Rules and rulers, customs and accomplishments, and I so small in all of this, in that perspective. Yet, that perspective which is true also shows something else, that over all of this, while I am small, yet it is great. As small as I am in the face of all these things, He and it, are great, even more so.

Jars of Clay wrote a song - Jesus' blood never failed me yet.

I search for truth and I am finding it. I search for goodness and I have found it lacking and I despair. Oh, but then I see the redness and I look and I see the blood, and I know that it is coming. More and more. Above and beyond all things I have given myself to it before and so now I am bound to it and I know that His crimson tide will wash over me, and just as nothing else can stand in its way, nor can I.

So I sit here still, not knowing how things will end up, still having to make a decision, still being who I am, but it all seems less now for in my heart there is a little light, a light of hope, and it wont go out.

God bless,

G.

1 Corinthians 4:2-5

A Piece Of Me: Aged 26

2006-07-10T20:27:00.000+02:00

Well, whilst normally I like to write things that might be uplifting, encouraging, challenging or perhaps instructive it occurs to me that life here on this black page can go from day to day and show you the things I'm thinking and what might be going on or coming from my heart but may not always give a sense of the routines and happenings that we all go through in life here on earth. So it is I thought I'd just jump in and say, it was my birthday on Saturday. July 8th.

That's one of those special days for me. One I look forward to. When I was in school a lot of my friends would miss my birthday because we'd be into the summer holidays. Still, that did mean that the friends who lived closest to me and I could be certain that we'd be free to do something that day - assuming they weren't away. We could go play out on the street maybe handball or football (soccer) or something, or perhaps go up to the park or something. Or of course there were those silly party games which are still a favourite! These days in Tucson July means the 'monsoons' which I always enjoy, but not so much the good old fun of having your friends around to a party for which you had sent out cool little invitations to which they might have had to reply.

So I'm now officially listed one year older than I was a few days ago. My last birthday was a big one because on a run shortly after I had this sense, for the first time in my life that I was really now a man. That might sound a bit cheesy but there's a distinct difference when you go from feeling like a boy or a 'young man' to a man in your own right, and that happened for me last year. This one just now seemed to cement that a in, one year deeper. More and more I look forward to things God has planned, and to getting to work for Him in whichever way He chooses. Reading the biographies of men like Chambers, Taylor and others, I see their lives put to good use and I long for mine to follow that path also. Truly it is our lives are what we do with them, and I recall a lesson from Chambers who pinpoints, "Will is the whole man active. I cannot give up my will, I must exercise it. I must will to obey, and I must will to receive God's Spirit."

Here is a day oh Lord, here is my life oh Lord, but I'm not going to just sit on it, I'm going to choose to pursue you and your word, to fill myself and my time with them, and I look forward to see what becomes.

God bless.

A Piece Of Me: Aged 10

2006-07-06T22:59:00.000+02:00

Whilst updating my CD, book and website listings (check them out) and old paperback came to mind and brought with it some very pleasant memories.

Back when I was in the final year at Castercliff County Primary School, I had the best, most wonderful, idyllic teacher in the young, beautiful and caring Miss Rowley - Miss Honey anyone? :)

Anyway, along with all the care and time she took with me, and no doubt others, one of the memories that sticks out as significant was her institution of an end of day class reading time. She chose a book called 'The Saga of Erik the Viking' - which sounded wonderfully exciting and adventurous and had me in anticipation - and we all sat down as she would read some of it to us when she had time at the end of a day.

Those times I remember fondly and I feel as though it was one of those life shaping times. It strengthened in me the sense of adventure, but also the moral strength of leading characters making good, wise and clever choices. That classic traits of ability, wisdom and wits. The art work in the book was wonderful too. Oh for growing up as a boy with an imagination whisked away to far away lands, and feeling the call and the rush of nobility and greatness. All within oneself, the possibilities were endless. I'm still the same now, the deepest parts of my heart have not changed.

Oh what it is to be true to one's heart. The gift of God.

It is not always easy to be true to that call, to who you are, especially when the ideas and images of the world press upon you. Even harder when it feels as though few around you seem to understand that heart. Making decisions along those lines takes a lot of courage I have learned. It's exciting to consider who you will have proven yourself to be when you make that decision, but still, you have to make it.

Men and women we must be. True, and honest and courageous. What's more, oh the help that can be found in two eyes which when you look into them, you find that same belief and joy looking back.

God bless and check out the book some time.

The Interview Game - Revisited

2006-06-12T00:30:00.000+02:00

About a year ago I was introduced to this blogging game by way of Mr. Dave Rattigan's Grace Pages. Following his post and simple explanation I emailed him telling him I'd be interested to play and soon enough he gave me five questions to answer. I wrote an entry answering those questions, which were mainly about myself, and should any be interested, that entry can still be found as a link on the right side of this page. It turns out though that I never offered the opportunity for interview to anyone else. After some inspiration to introduce the game to some of my friends who blog on MySpace (and there being a lack of anything particularly qualitative on that site) I offered them the chance to play. And now I do the same for you, since this is where it started. The rules and everything else can be found below, as well as the names of the people already playing. I'll take three more interviews, so if you want me to send you five questions, email me ASAP, and they'll be on their way.

God bless,

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The Interview Game

THE RULES
1. Leave me an email, saying you want to be interviewed.
2. I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3. You'll update your blog with my five questions and your five answers.
4. You'll include this explanation.
5. You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.

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Players so far:

Lilminnieperk -

1 - Politics - Within our group of friends you stand out on your own as someone 'from the other side'. I know this can be a bit of a pain at times, for various reasons. With regards to this whole world of politics what for you is the true significance of politics and what are the most important considerations to be made?

2 - Music, Movies or Literature - If you could only have one for the rest of your life which would it be and why? Also, which of these do you feel is the most significant in the world today?

3 - Christianity not being something you grew up with what, from your perspective, has been the most awakening revelation of faith and what's the one thing you'd most like to change about the way you see Christianity practised - either near or far.

4 - Do you ever dream about living in another time or another setting? If so, where, when or which?

5 - You've said a few times that you'd like to be able to get to know me a little more deeply. Thank you! What qualities or characteristics do you most appreciate in people, and in particular, in those whom you see, or are seen, as spiritual leaders?
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Mandy - Alright Amanda, sorry for the long delay in getting these questions out to you, I
hope this is worth the wait. :)

1 - Okay, first question to get you warmed up. From where I'm standing two of the biggest aspects of your life are music and the desire to make a difference through politics/national action. Let's say those two things disappeared from your life, what then would be the biggest things left?

2 - Second question. Jon's a really great guy, I admire him a lot and I think it's safe to say that the same is true for you, so I figure here's a chance to brag about him - sorry Jon, but you're a great guy. What things do you admire most about Jon and for what are you most proud of him? Anything else you want to say?

3 - Continuing on to relationship them, since it seems natural. Jon being that great guy and you being you others have talked about your relationship as being exemplary - patient, natural and upright. I haven't heard you talk much about it though, so I'm curious to get your thoughts on the value of romantic relationships in general and what would you say are the most significant aspects to be considered by anyone thinking about relationships? Also, if it varies, what most
do you value in your own relationship?

4 - For the fourth question I want to turn the attention towards Tucson and the girls of Grace. In growing up (both in faith and life) there have been so many different personalities and characters among you, yet you seem to have come together and learned from one another. Who, for you, has been the biggest rolemodel - someone you've aspired after - and also, pick three other girls who have taught you something and explain their affect.

5 - As each of us grow our grace and empathy tend to expand as we learn about frailty and weakness, especially as we learn of, and about, our own. Which struggle would you say you empathise with most and how would you explain the struggle to others that they might also learn to have more understanding and grace for those who suffer with it?

Thanks Amanda, and thanks again for waiting.

God bless.
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Samantha - I'm really glad you signed up to play. Truly.

1 - Only a short while ago you moved to Arlington, Virginia to be with your
wonderful army husband, the ever lovely Stefan. :) There with your new daughter Natalya life for the both of you seems to really have taken off. Your blogs, though an unexpected surprise, have been both encouraging and challenging and you just seem so wonderfully happy it actually makes me smile to see you doing so well. My first question then, is how have things changed for you personally? I think we can all see the some of the outer effects and signs, what we don't see is what is going on inside. So, what's the difference since making this big but undoubtedly good transition?

2 - The second question on my lips is about the future. I know in the past both you and Stefan have thought about missions, but also clerical work. Whilst the focus for both of you right now has been, and will continue to be, on Natlya and setting up life in Arlington, do you guys have any specific plans, hopes or visions for the future? If so...what? :)

3 - Getting back to your blogs and faith, your subjects so far have been 'Fearing the Lord', 'Welcome Affliction' and 'the Holy of Holies'. From where you are now, and having seen what you have of life and all its changes, what one or two things would you speak to those who continue to live life here in Tucson?

4 - Sometimes I feel as if I know you well, other times very little. So what I want to know is, what does it mean to be Samantha Johnson?

5 - Hmm, having just asked that one a similar one has come to mind. My final question is about 'reminders'. Since you've just said what it means to be Samantha Johnson, by way of reminder, what would you say to your family that it means to be a McElroy, what would you say to the other in Tucson that it means to be a 'Gracer', and what would you say to me and Reub that it means to be an Avellano?
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Dave Rattigan -

1 - As soon as I'd written this question for Lilian you came to mind so I'm also going to ask it of you. Music, Movies or Literature - If you could only have one for the rest of your life which would it be and why? Also, which of these do you feel is the most significant in the world today?

2 - Since we left RTC five years ago some amazing developments have taken place in both our lives and I think it would have been hard to imagine that we would be where we are. My question is at the point of our leaving Regents where did you think you would be in the future, and also, where did you think I would be? :)

3 - A gifted and forthright writer, intelligent, informed and thoughtful. You're also funny, caring and dependable. (Not to embarrass you!) Yet what one characteristic do you most wish you had?

4 - I mentioned significant changes. Whilst it undoubtedly began during college you have since then run far off to a more liberal 'station' of beliefs. All of us struggle with pride in our life and faith, how did that struggle feature for you in this transition?

5 - A few years on as someone who has taken up residence in 'the other camp' :) What are some of your current thoughts and feelings on 'right and left', conservative Christianity and your experience? Where do you see the Church headed?
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Lasairiona -

1 – Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

2 – What one thing do you quietly most hope for yourself?

3 – If you could have grown up to become someone different, who would that person be?

4 – What is the hope that Jesus Christ offers you?

5 – Read Hebrews 12 and give it some thought, then comment on it. :)

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Jaclyn - Sorry for the long wait on these, I hope you enjoy them. If I may, I'd like to throw six at you.

1 – You’re a reader, and a writer. Your heart lies firmly surrounded by friends and family but foremost before the throne of the Lord. The love fostered there now spills out through the Spirit to the other people you meet and you desire to reach out to those around the world. These things I believe I know about you, but, since I don’t know all the details of your life, the little things that make up your world – if you’ll allow me the liberty, I’d like to pull you out from that world of yours right now and place you into another. Let’s say it’s completely unfamiliar territory.Describe the setting. Who might someone there learn Jaclyn to be? How might you be? How might you feel? Also, feeling free to bring them in on this one, how might your friends/family describe you in these circumstances? If at all, how do you think you would differ or surprise them?

2 – You love missions. Which well-known, missionary/Christian figure do you most closely compare yourself or aspire to and why?

3 – Family and marriage are two big things that are talked about, admired and exalted in Christian circles throughout the world. There are conferences, ministries and more books than anyone would care to count. However, a life of undivided devotion without marriage, though spoken of by both Christ and Paul, often seems little spoken of or understood in churches. How would you defend and describe that call to those who might not understand it?

4 – In bringing up this interview game, you have made mention of propriety in dealing with this whole thing. Such a thing isn’t too common but was a pleasant surprise. If you don’t mind I’m going to take the liberty of running with that subject and bring up the context of guy/girl behaviour. Give three things you hold in high regard when it comes to relating to the opposite sex. What two things do you think guys should be most careful of in relating to girls, and then what two things should girls most be careful of? Finally, what one thing has been the most useful tool for you in balancing your own behaviour in this regard?

5 – You mention you’re an avid reader, if you could have every person on the planet read one book that is not a specifically Christian book (or the Bible) what would it be and why?

6 – If you could ask me one question in return, what would it be?

Jaclyn has posted and her answers can be found here.

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Dawn - After a long wait, here are your questions...finally! Thanks for waiting.

1 – How has being a mother and a wife affected your perspective on your faith, what do you see now about life and faith and God that you did not before you were married and before you were a mother?

2 – Name one thing you believe your husband deserves more of from the world around him. Now name one thing he deserves more of from you.

3 – What one aspect of your husband do you find that you mostly silently admire, and what aspect of him do you think others miss that you would most like to loudly proclaim in a public setting?

4 – You have a baby son. By the time he is a man in his own right how do you imagine you would like the Church/church to be (assuming the Lord has not made His return!)?

5 - Also considering your baby son. If you could, how would you get the world to change to make things better for him?

6 – It seems that less men are attending church and women are more comfortable there. Some are talking of the feminisation of worship. What's your take on all this and how do you see the roles of men and women in church – what is right, what is wrong, where do you see things going (or needing to go)? Also, what things do you think might need to be done to bring things to where they need to be - what do you think women should expect/prepare themselves to do, and men?

Here Is A Day

2006-05-30T02:13:00.000+02:00

“Here is a day oh Lord….what will you do with it?”

Well it’s been a while again but I’m here and it is good to be able to post. I'm still working on a few longer things and still there are some big things going on but after revisiting this which I transcribed to the computer a bit ago I thought I'd it. God bless.

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This morning was just wonderful. Having taken the dogs out for their morning walk I sat down to get in some time with the Lord and His word and heeded His prompting to go get my notebook. It’s so easy for me to just open my Bible read through a few passages and just leave it at that, without having anything really stick. However, if I grab a pen and a notebook my times in the word take on a whole new atmosphere and aspect. So just as a quickie I highly recommend that when you go to spend some time with God, even if it’s just prayer, take a pen and a notebook and be prepared to write. Now, if I may, I’d like to share a little something from my pen this morning.

“Sitting at the table this morning with the freshness of the morning – the air, the light, the singing of the birds beyond the house – all is bright. I sit here with an open notebook before me and I could write anything. Ah, but not anything will do! … Perhaps even writing will not do!

For I sit here with an open book but also an open day - indeed even an open life. I have no sense about tomorrow or where my life will lead. So open! It is open, I am open – and oh, there is a feeling of joy here with me too. There seems to be a joy intertwined with this business of being at the beginning of something open. Look! Look around. Nothing can be predicted! Anything could happen, anything could be done – yet, it is true; not just anything will do. No, because as I sit here at this table, this morning, the joy in my openness comes from the fact that I am here…waiting. I am waiting for His arrival; waiting for the knock at the door, His stepping into my house.

Hmm…Openness is good because it means that one can be filled. Yet, if one does not have any expectation of being filled, openness can be daunting since it brings a realisation of emptiness. Considering a box, a box is not meant to be always empty. It is a container, designed to contain, to be filled. A box that goes its whole life empty is, literally, unfulfilled. It is a box that missed its calling. Still, it is necessary that there is a time when the box is open and empty, for if it were not – if it were always closed or if it were already full with dust or junk – it could not be filled, it would have to be emptied first. No, there is a proper time for openness and emptiness but that openness must also come with one more thing – expectation, the promise of being filled.

And so, here I am at this table. I have joy and I have expectation – because my life is open and I know it will be filled – for God does not despise an open box. He will have a purpose for it, He will fill it and the excitement is that I know not with what He will fill this day, this life. Perhaps He will fill this notebook, perhaps not. Perhaps He will have me serve a friend or a neighbour or even a stranger. Perhaps He will have me clean or perhaps when He comes He will lead me on to some adventure. Truly, I do not know how He will fill this day, I do not know how He will fill this life but I may have joy because I know when it comes it will be good - I will be satisfied and He will not waste an inch of space but will fill me to the brim.

I am, this day, open, and I am this day, empty. I have emptied out what is inside - some of it is junk and some are my own treasures – that I may be the best box that I can. What’s more, though I do not know when He will come, I will be ready. I will take care of this day and this life so that I will be open. I will not fill it with junk, with meaningless things, for I am a box – and I am open – and though I could be filled with anything, not just anything will do. He is coming, He has many purposes on which He is working, and I do not doubt that in some way or other He will be able to include me - include me in some eternal creation of God!

So here I am at this morning table. The birds are still singing, all things are still bright, the day is open and so am I. I will go now, and listen for His voice and rejoice in my day. When next we meet perhaps we may share the story of how we were filled.”

God bless.

He is Risen!

2006-04-16T22:31:00.000+02:00

He is risen! I shall say it again, He is risen!

What a day! I'm just so full of...well... His Spirit, His joy today that I had to come on here and say something. I want to bear witness that these words are true: God is good. Truly He is loving, and life is found in Him.

When Jesus said that He is the Way the Truth and the Life, He was not lying. If you have never known Him I want to say to you, truly, do not worry about any misgivings you might have about that statement, just take Him at His word and follow Him a while, talk to Him, you will find that He is true. How great it is to be one among the fellowship of the saints!

May the Lord bless all of you on this Easter day and onwards through the year, for the One who died and now is alive is Emmanuel and we will now be in His company forever - never alone! May all temporary emotions and contrary feelings bow before the eternal reality of the truth in Jesus Christ. This day, this Earth, this life shall pass, but He shall not, and because of Him, neither shall we.

Praise be to Him! May we join with the Earth, and with all who send up a song, even if we stand alone in a solitary room, He hears us all, let us praise Him!

That reminds me of something. Of late I've been having something of a Daniel/Jeremiah experience. During my times alone before Him I've found myself standing or kneeling before an open window, and looking up, praising Him. There's something so very different about looking up instead of down in my 'worship'. So many times I begin to focus upon my own sins and my need of Him, but then my worship becomes downward, self-centered, and perhaps, not even worship alone. Yet in looking up there is hope. I see the skies, I see my destiny, and I rejoice.

One such day recently I was before the window, almost out of routine, when in quietness I began to notice some birds singing beyond the house. I could not see them but I could hear them. Alone in the house I had my door open and I then heard that the parakeet in the front room had also heard the birds outside and was joining them. I listened a little and then I began to realise that what I was hearing was not merely a few feathered animals doing the same thing they always do but the praise of creation rising up to God. From all corners of the Earth, I knew that there were creatures of all kinds doing what they had been created to do. Whatever was in accordance with their manner they were glorfying Him and...it never stopped. God, with all the things going on around the world, always had a song to listen to, and always heard it. As I listened I at first heard its beauty but then was drawn by it. It was the song of creation offered to the Creator, all creatures sang it, no matter how humble, and certainly of the company of the grateful created I am one. So I couldn't help myself, I had to join them. I listened to the song, my heart was filled with joy and I filled my mouth with praise. I sang with the birds and silently prayed to my God a prayer of praise.

On this Easter Day - and every day that exists because He came and did not destroy - do not look down, and do not look lonely - but look up. For He is there and He is listening. We are never alone, there is always a song being offered up and at any moment of any day we can join ourselves to that number. Even if it's only for a few seconds we can, as grateful creation, do something that is pure worship, purely aimed at Him, purely fulfilling some of our purpose in existing, and He will know it - because He hears. He hears every single voice and He knows us, for He formed us.

Such a price He paid to keep that which He created let us try hard and do our best to never let Him regret it - and I know that never He will.

Happy Easter and rejoice my friend. I may not know who you are, but as you're reading this know that there is and always will be at least one other whose heart will always sing to God. This day do not look down, for He is not amongst those within the earth. Look up, for that is where He went, and because He went there, it is where we will one day follow! Truly there is truth, life, love and joy in Him. Oh truly He is good! Rejoice my friends, we are never alone, and we need never fear - for He is risen!

.......................................

Two Words

Something else occurred to me recently. It occurred to me when I was watching the Passion of the Christ and as I bowed my head towards the end I was blown away. You see I realised something that night. Two words. They are the greatest thing I own. The greatest thing that I can call my own - but at times I've not even thought so. Two words that I could never have claimed but which were given to me. Their price was far too high, so high that at times I even despised them; though in truth they were all I wanted but could not have. Yet the one to whom they belonged - the only one on Earth to whom they belonged - was kind and caring enough that he did not gloat over me with them but instead paid the inscrutably high price so that I could have them too. Two words that I may always bring to my lips, even when I feel farthest from them, even when I feel a liar, a pretender, in using them; two words that are and always will be, nevertheless, true. He spoke them once, many times, and I did not understand. He spoke them and in them He was something other than I. He spoke them and I was shamed. Now I speak them, and they are true, now I speak them and He is glorified. I speak them and I shall never forget their worth. Two words are my greatest treasure - I do not exaggerate and I do not lie. Two words - they are totally mine and I will never have more, not ever. Two words, and by them, I can hardly believe it, He honours me. Two words... thank you my Lord...two words, and they are -

'My' 'Father'.

God bless.

Coming back...

2006-03-01T21:07:00.000+01:00

Well, it's been far too long since I posted here, and my apologies for the delay.

The way things are right now I think I should be set to start posting again. I have some thoughts on spiritual IOU's to share, maybe also something on tithing. I also have to update my reading list and maybe toss out some thoughts and reviews. So without further ado, I'd like to throw out a quote by Richard Baxter (old English Reformed Pastor) which a friend of mine sent to me, knowing that I've been reading some of his stuff. Thanks Skip.

God bless.

G.

The flesh is not only the common idol, but the most devouring idol in all the world. It hath not, as subservient, flattered idols have, only a knee and compliment, or now and then a sacrifice or ceremony, but it hath the heart, the tongue, the body to serve it; the whole estate, the service of friends, the use of wit and utmost diligence; in a word, it hath all. It is loved and served by the sensualist, as God should be loved and served by his own, even "with all their heart, and soul, and might:" they "honour it with their substance, and the firstfruits of their increase." It is as faithfully served as Christ requireth to be of his disciples: men will part with father, and mother, and brother, and sister, and nearest friends, and all that is against it, for the pleasing of their flesh. Nay, Christ required men to part with no greater matter for him than transitory earthly things, which they must shortly part with whether they will or no; but they do for the flesh ten thousand thousandfold more than ever they were required to do for Christ.

Richard Baxter

Ambitions/Desires

2006-01-12T21:27:00.000+01:00

It's been a while since I last posted and I just wanted to drop in an update to let you know I'm still alive! :)

Things were a bit busy over Christmas and since then, I've been doing a lot of soul searching and working on a ministry idea which I want to try to complete before I do, whatever it is I do next.

Your prayers are appreciated. :)

What I thought I'd do now is just post a few things that my soul searching has turned up. I think really digging down deep into our own hearts and seeing what we desire, trying to uncover the things God has placed within us, something we all need to do from time to time. The truth is there have been many times over the last year or so that I really haven't felt like myself - don't ask me who it is I was feeling like, I have no idea. It's just things I've said or done and I I've wondered "Who on earth was that?"

Well, if you ask God for help and being to dig, things start to turn up. I thought I'd share a few of the things I've uncovered, maybe you can find some inspiration in it.

The desires of Galant Koh:

Travel - I love to travel. Airports, trains, boats, they all get me excited, and I love to see the wonders and variety in God's creation. I can't believe God would create me with this inbred desire for travel and then have me sit at home in the same town for the rest of my life. I've always desired adventure and purpose over comforts and possessions. I don't care if I never have any great possessions or a nice house. I want to experience the world, but more than that, I want to experience and see God in and at work in the world. To not only know His truths from reading but to see those truths have effect, to see them come to reality in the lives men and women and children all over the globe. To enjoy that great mystery of the body of Christ united in Spirit over and above myriad differences.

I want to see God touching people's lives, and if possible in His will, I would love to see Him do it through me. To have a part in working with God to create His new eternity? That's amazing to me. I want to see the rise and perfection of His Bride. To see the Church come together in unity of purpose and mind - in love. I desire to be with God and sit on His shoulder as He makes His plans unfold and the works out His purposes for this generation in preparation for what comes next, and His ultimate goal of salvation and the new Kingdom. God take me all over, use me as you will, and let me see your hand at work!

Japan - this is a bit specific but Japan has been on my heart for quite a while now and I want to see if God has something there. Much about the country enchants me if God has it that I should be blessed to go and minister and make a difference there I'd be honoured and excited. www.jp.omf.org Read some of those 'Opportunities' and the other stories available.

Missions - Community - When asking myself, a la Eldridge, what makes me come alive, I found that my answer is, the thought of being able to be within a Christian community hungry for the word and the kingdom of God and minister to the needs of the people. To know them, to be with them, to rejoice with them and work with them, to rejoice in and celebrate the word of God with them - teaching them, encouraging them, working through problems and seeing what God is doing with them, helping that come about. Just being with them at a point in their life where I am of service and help, and then moving on in God's time to do the same with another group. I was talking with a friend not too long ago who said something that really sparked me, she said, "You'd do so well in third world countries, you'd have so much to offer and teach them." Now, the call of God aside for a moment, the thought of being with a group of Christians who didn't have much but who were appreciative of what they did have and who hungered after the word of God and His kingdom - that excites me. I get tired of people in the rich west who leave their Bibles up on their shelves, who get bored by Bible studies and who don't like to pray. Paul seemed to experience much joy at being with the Philippian churches, working with them and celebrating their God. There truly is a joy to being with God's people, oh that more of us would catch it.

Long distance hikes - Pennine Way, E2, whatever, wherever. I love the hills. I grew up in hill-country and when I'm not able to just get out by myself, or even with a few friends, and walk or run in the hills I miss it. Long-distance hill-walking isn't something I've tried yet, but I want to. Being away from a place really starts to show you what you valued and gives you greater appreciation for it. If I return to England it's my desire to complete the Pennine Way, preferably in one two week trek, and to enjoy all the beauty of God's earth, the company of a good friend, and the voice of the Holy Spirit in the wind. The solitude and beauty are wonderful.

If I manage that and I love it as much as I expect, well, I think I'll try to make it a regular desire. I came across some multinational European walks that some group or other is putting together. They're categorising them as E1, E2, E3 etc. and E2 sounds like a good one. From the very top of Norway down through Denmark, Sweden, Germany (Black Forest!), Switzerland, and then through Italy all the way to Sicily. Might have to break that one up but it would be wonderful. Robust walking is perhaps the best form of exercise known to Man, and when you can unite it with time alone and the beauty of God's Earth - oh it's wonderful!

Crew a sailing voyage... By the stars - Oh yes, now this is something I'd like to do, even just once. For a long time I've been fascinated with the age of sail and how sailors of days gone by accomplished such amazing voyages guided only by the stars. My goodness God does a good job when He creates a universe. What's a tiny satellite when you consider that the roaming planets and stars all conspire to give guidance to Man as he journeys? Those grand celestial spheres aren't about to have a computer chip malfunction or burn up on re-entry. :) To be able to be part of a crew on a tall ship, sailing on some voyage, to see the stars as never before, and to be able to learn how to navigate and see it in action, that's one thing I would love to do.

Oh, and this one for free - celestial navigation requires what? Charts, a sextant, a compass and regular clear views of the skies. Let me put that another way now - it requires written truths which will not falter, something that joins Earth with the heavens, a presence which accurately gives guidance, and regular time spent with the heavens and the Sun. ;)

Alright, well, God bless and let me take this opportunity to say if you're sat around, bumming around right now and don't know what to do or what you're about. Take this opportunity to seek God's help and dig deep. There are so many opportunities out there, but more than that, what God can do with you if you surrender to Him is endless. It's not about opportunity, it's about God's will, but I guarantee that if you surrender yours to Him, He'll make more of it than you expect, and satisfied you will be....check out one of my first blogs - Grey Skies.

Christmas Traditions: Christingle

2005-12-22T16:25:00.000+01:00

One memory I have from my childhood Christmases in England is something which might sound like a strange word to the Americans reading this and perhaps a distant memory to some older British readers - Christingle. It means 'Christ Light' and what it refers to is an old tradition, often done with children, which has the magic of a candle light service but even richer with significance.

Christingle

A Christingle is a symbolically decorated candle consisting of an orange, a candle, a red ribbon, four cocktail sticks and some fruit or raw vegetables. Sometimes it also includes a white ribbon.

The orange represents the world into which the light of the world came (the candle). The red ribbon is a symbol of Christ's blood (the white ribbon can be used as a symbol of purity). The four cocktail sticks symbolise the four seasons over which God reigns and the pieces of fruit or veg - God's blessings to us.

At a time of year when many people, especially Christians, find that their celebrations lack any real meaning I thought I would mention this tradition which is an old Moravian practise which seems now most commonly practised in the Church of England.

That link does a good job of describing things but I'll throw in how we used to do it. Usually the service would involved the children who had a craft time before the service. During that time they would put the Christingles together and be taught the significance of the candle they were making. Then afterwards the service would be held, the Christingles lit and the lights put out. Songs would be sung, some of God's word read and then a blessing would be given. Alternatively a message could be given during the service utilising the symbolism of the Christingle.

I used to love the smell of the oranges and the light of the candles along with all that wonderful Christmas music and fellowship. The wonderful thing is there are no hard and fast rules, each group, church or family can use the Christingle to hold whatever kind of 'service' they please. I hope this year to bring it to my new friends and family here and if the same sounds good to you then this was worthwhile and and my joy is increased!

Have a wonderful Christmas, may all who read this and those you be blessed, may you be a blessing and in us all may God be glorified.

--------------------------------

Instructions below:

To make one Christingle you'll need

An orange
A red ribbon (or a suitable substitute)
Some silver foil (baking foil)
Four cocktail sticks
A few (8 or so) small pieces of fruit or veg
A candle
A knife

Putting it together

Using the knife cut a small cross into the top of the orange (so that the candle can be pushed into the orange).

Place the foil over the cross you've just cut and then push the candle down into the orange. The foil will catch the wax as it drips. It also make the Christingle look shiny! :)

Tie the ribbon around the orange.

Skewer the fruit etc. on the cocktail sticks and then insert them into the top of the orange.

That's it.

Light as needed! :)

If you want pictures a swift Google image search for 'Christingle' will yield the desired results.

Perspectives: Adam's Apple

2005-12-16T06:52:00.000+01:00

Over at the BBC they've been talking about what might be the biggest trial of the last century. A feared and notorious dictator has been captured and now stands trial before his own people. Or is it that one of many such characters created in a middle-eastern culture has been kidnapped by evil, rich western rulers, handed over to his enemies and it's all painted as a romantic victory? Whatever the case, the public are letting loose with their opinions as to whether Saddam will receive a fair trial or not and the righteous indignation flows. It struck me that asking a bunch of random people whether they believed Saddam was going to get a fair trial was a very strange thing indeed. How should they know? Ah but that it is the question isn't it? I'd like to address that very thing but be warned my next example might touch a raw nerve.

Not too long ago there a big court case all over the media. Michael Jackson was in court again facing another set of some of the worst crimes in society - the abuse and perversion of children. Everyone was talking about it and everyone had their opinion as Jackson, with his strange face and dark glasses moved with his entourage and took the stand. Many times of those weeks I heard the cry, "That man is a disgusting pervert! I can't stand him, he makes my skin crawl." Well, soon enough the verdict came out as innocent on all counts and no sooner was the declaration made than I began to hear in abundance, "There's another victory for the rich elite - money can get you off anything."

Maybe.

As I hear everyone around me starting to spout though, there's one question that I want to ask them. "How do you know?"

I heard it said, "Michael is guilty." "Michael is a pervert." I wanted to ask, "Really?" "You were there?" "Did you see him?" "Do you know him?"

Not to defend Michael, it's quite possible he is a pervert, but the question I think everyone needs to ask themselves is, "What do I really know about any of this?" Do people consider what it is they're saying? They stand there and condemn a man of some awful crimes, they spit on him and cover his name with filth and they do it all based upon what? Nothing they really know, just what they've heard. It makes me sad.

What is it that drives us with hate and disgust to condemn a man we've never met, of crimes we don't know he committed? How is it we even have interest in offering an opinion on something so far removed? It can only be because we think we do know, and we think it is our role to look upon these things and offer judgment.

Taking it now to Genesis, Adam was a man who believed two things - that through an apple one could come to know all things, and, that it was his place to know such things and take a place of judgment. He was wrong on both counts.

So are we.

I believe that what we have here is a phenomenon of the modern media combined with good old human nature...or should that be bad old? For the first time even in history we have a way in which we can never leave our home town, or even our houses, yet have a window into the rest of the world. We can sit in front of these tiny screens viewing the world with a seemingly god-like aloofness and we get fed information about anything and everything. It is Adam's dream; a real way to receive the all encompassing knowledge of good and evil. At least, we think it is.

Here in this world of satellites and mass media communication we have an apple which seems to promise great knowledge. Its eye is on every corner of the world and we can share its view. We think therefore that it can tell us everything we need to know, give us a full perspective and that we need its view. Then when we get there, thinking we know it all, we then think we can offer judgment upon those things.

However, just as the apple did not give Adam what he thought it would I think we need to realise that the same is true with the media. We think the media gives us a full perspective - it does not. It does not give us the view that we think it does and in fact we cannot have the grasp upon things that we think we have or that we would like. God did not design Adam to know everything and to be able to judge all things from afar, that was His realm. Nothing has changed since, even with the invention of the internet. No, God designed us to work with what we have in front us and to walk with Him by faith. We do not need the media as much as we think we do, what we need is God and more faith in Him.

Yes, the media has its uses, but I think there is a big problem with the media leading us to walk far more by our eyes than by faith. We think that if offers us that which we so naturally desire - to be able to see beyond today, with a range and perspective that allows us to control our world. Yet that thought is a deception. What is the lesson in the fall of Adam? I think it has less to do with fruit and more to do with the truth that full knowledge and judgment belong only to God.

This isn't a rant condemning the 'sinister media and its evil ways'. My concern isn't the people behind the media or whether the news is right or wrong in any given case. What the media offers us is knowledge, bits and pieces here and there. What we need to learn is to judge rightly what knowledge it does offer and then to decided what we are going to do with that knowledge. We need to know that we can't control what the media gives us, but we can control what we do with the media.

The truth is that we are, in most of these matters, simple observers with a limited view. That's it. We don't see all that is going and we never will. We would like to be able to be in control of everything - to ensure that Saddam has a fair trial, or to ensure that everything is clean and tidy and clinical - we want God's view of the garden instead of Man's. Yet what we have to realise is that we are not God and never will be. The world is a messy place but in our western, scientific, sterilised culture we begin to forget that. We come up with our great ideas and principles and think that we can fix it all but, the history of the world suggests otherwise. What Adam had to learn is that there are certain things that belong to God and certain things that were given to him. His job was to tend the garden. To look after his wife and family. To take care of those things around him and walk and talk faithfully with his God. The wisdom here is to realise that there is only One who is in control and only One who truly sees everything. He sees the hearts of men, truth is His domain and nothing escapes Him.

Saddam may get a fair trial despite what we think about the judges and bias and US administration. He might not. The reality is we'll probably never know but it's not our role to do so. If you really care what is going on, pray, and then turn to those who are really your concern. Pour as much as you can into that which God has given you and that which is beyond today and beyond your borders is in the hands of your God.

And with the media, the simple message is, be careful.

Stars and Lamp Posts

2005-12-13T06:27:00.000+01:00

Have you ever looked up to the heavens far from urban life; up on a mountain some where? I've had that privilege a few times and I must say that if you haven't you really wont believe what awaits your eyes. I remember standing up on Mount Graham and just staring into a sky so filled with stars and shining heavenly bodies that it blew away all that jaded disappointment with what I thought was a starry sky. Trust me, if you haven't seen the night sky away from the city you need to make a promise to yourself, right now, to do so, at least within the year.

Jaclyn over at Pure and Simple recently posted this and thinking about that post brought something to mind which God, as He always does, tied in to other things He was already saying and used it as part of His teachings to me about Faith. If you'll allow me to share...

"Without faith it is impossible to please God." Hebrews 11:6
"That which does not come from faith is sin." Romans 14:23
"Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word." Romans 10:17

Now those three are pulled a little out of context but I'm confident that I am not wrongly using them, I believe the principles can be borne out at length.

The principle being, we cannot live by faith or have faith, without having first heard from God - for such would not be faith, it would be wishful thinking or random notions. Faith is faith in something.

Therefore, it is imperative that we hear from God. Not that we should strain but simply, that we should listen.

Things around us get very noisy. They fill our ears our eyes our minds and our time and make it impossible to hear and thus, by crowding us out, make it difficult, perhaps impossible, to live by faith. We need to take time to listen, and this, by necessity I believe, means that we must be careful to simply our lives down.

Many of the greatest things in Christianity are quiet, not noisy. God's word comes in the still, small voice. Calm, peace, patience, gentleness, security, even strength are quiet things. Joy and praise, in their exuberance, may be considered 'noisy', but they are not constant. I see more Biblical quietness in constancy interspersed with times of noise rather than noise, noise, noise with only a little quiet.

I think it's particularly poignant at this time of year, because all things are noisy around us. It can bee seen that Christmas is a very noisy time of year, yet Christ actually came in relative silence. Bethlehem was busy, noisy. Christ came in the quiet. The angles visited the shepherds on the hills, and that will have been quite an impressive thing, but when they got to the stable what did they find? Not much I expect. Just a small baby and two humble parents.

Oh, and yes, a star. Which brings me back to Jaclyn's post and my introduction. Why is it that the night sky viewed from a mountain yields a splendorous view of the heavens yet the same view cannot be found in town - despite the fact that you are looking at the very same sky?

Noise. The mountain is silent, where as the town, with all of its lights is extremely noisy. Looking at Jaclyn's images though I find it amazing that such grand wonders of immense size and number can be rendered invisible by an incandescent light bulb. Stars of comparable size and brightness to the Sun are hidden by a collection of tiny lamps. Why? Because they are in your face, in your eyes, yet you don't realise it, and so you never even imagine what glories the heavens hold.

The true life of Christianity is a life of faith - a life of listening to God and following Him where He leads. Thus it is a life of listening, and listening necessitates quiet.

Life in this country, in the west here, is often about entertainment - games and movies and music and clothes and everything else. It fills your life easily. It is a discipline for the Christian to make room for quiet. But in that sacrifice of the enjoyable but loud things comes the ever precious heavenly thing of God's voice, and with it the rising of faith and the power and direction for life.

God bless.

Special thanks to Trin.

The Bible on Running

2005-12-01T00:00:00.000+01:00

If you recall my recent post 'Chariots Of Fire', well, I was reading through Psalm 119 whilst on holiday in Georgia and a number of verses really leapt out at me. I think they well capture the spirit of something I was trying to communicate in that post,

"Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight."

"I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free."

Unity of purpose, devotion and being. Freedom.

God bless.

Having A Bad Day?

2005-11-30T23:57:00.000+01:00

Thanks to Trin for emailing me this link, I liked it a lot. It's thoughts like that which make me want to get out and go for a run, blasting past all the bad guys!

Muse In Verse

2005-11-29T14:38:00.000+01:00

My good friend Trin has been writing for a while now his insightful and amusing haiku over at Slashdot. Well now he's moved and I thought I'd just drop a line to encourage all of you to pay a visit to www.museinverse.blogspot.com and then bookmark it. He's a great guy and worth reading.

God bless.

Blogger Rule #1

2005-11-29T14:25:00.000+01:00

Learn quickly to type one's blogs in word processing software like Word or something else.

That way when one's computer crashes, the internet dies or some other unforseen accident happens you will not face the tragedy of lost words but only the delay of reopening a file.

Oh the stories I could tell. Of a trip through Colorado and into Texas, moving through a settling mist as the sound of guitar strings plucked filled the air and prayers were lifted up by a trio on their way to an encounter with God. Of lessons learned in praying effectively and avoiding the deception of one's own worry.

Some day I'll pay attention to what I write. Although, that last one should make it up here shortly. It makes you wonder why do these things never happen when you've just logged on and typed only two words?

Bloggers of the world - heedeth these words wisely and doth take ye the actions appropriate!

:)

Perspective: Scotland's Oldest and the 1914 Truce

2005-11-22T19:25:00.000+01:00

So many times, almost every day, we come across things which scream at in a loud and bold way, "Now! Now is the time, and this is the thing. This is everything! Now, act now, or else you will miss and never see it again!" Yet for those who would have learned to listen to wisdom, we can stand fast, close our eyes - which are so easily impressed and deceived - and listen to the voice which says, "This too shall pass. It has been before and will be again. Over and over. Place your feet upon firmer ground, with the eye of wisdom see past what swirls around you, and act upon the truths of the ages."

Gaining and retaining a good perspective is a skill that must be learned and practised, forever. I believe it is one of the most important things in all areas of life and faith and to that end I always keep an eye open for stories and other things which act as windows giving me an opportunity to look beyond my own life and age and into that which is before and beyond me. They help me to look beyond and stand in calmness when the wind of the moment rages.

Today upon I cam upon this story about Scotland's oldest man and World War 1 veteran. He served in the Black Watch and was one of the few who stood upon that treacherous ground known as 'No Man's Land' , faced his enemy, and in a moment of faith and humanity, shook hands.

That history which is to many of us just pages in a book was to him real life, his memories more vivid than any photo-journal. Consider the elders around you. We look at the decades and separate them out. We think of the changes in our world since the 60's, they lived and dwelled before. They are our reach into truth. Into perspective. They are the calm voices that speak to us of something else. As they pass we lose that voice and are forced more and more into the booming announcements of the current age. Let us consider their words and their stories.

Oh Lord may we have ears, and honour your creation of them by using them as best we can.

Prince In Tribute To War Veteran

Oldest War Veteran Reaches 106

Chariots of Fire

2005-11-17T23:15:00.000+01:00

I saw the movie 'Chariots of Fire' for the first time a few months ago. It's strange, but everyone I've mentioned that to at the time chuckled when I told them. I don't know what's so funny about it, maybe it's got something to do with the movie - most people seem to have seen it but only a long time ago, and perhaps they remember it as being a nice but antiquated movie with a naively optimistic outlook on things. I've no idea really. However, I am fully aware of what I think about the film.

"What? What is your opinion?" I hear you cry. Well fear not, for I am about to give it! :)

It moved me. It spoke to me. I was fully impressed with it. Perhaps it was more the message than its merit as a piece of visual storytelling, but I came away from having watched it with feelings of respect, admiration, inspiration, and almost a homeward call of my soul. What I want to share with you here is the aspect of its impact which struck me most significantly.

Before I begin, a quick recap. 'Chariots of Fire' tells the true story of the victories of the British running team in the 1924 Parisian Olympics. It focuses most of all upon two figures, H.G. Abrahams and Eric Liddell. Both gifted sprinters, the former is an aggressively sensitive Jewish Englishman who enters Cambridge University and finds motivation in proving himself to the world, fighting for his Jewish heritage. The latter is a Scottish missionary and devout Christian. Born in China to missionary parents, he, with his sister, is preparing himself to return to the ministry but finds himself the hero of Scotland in his running abilities. At first rivals, the two eventually run under the British banner to bring home two gold medals.

In itself it is an inspiring story, and I highly recommend the movie, however, I would like to reflect upon something spoken by Eric. Part way through the movie Eric is trying to explain to his sister, who does not agree with his running, why he is choosing to continue with his preparations for the Olympics before he returns to the mission. In doing so Eric tells her, "I believe God made me for a purpose. But He also made me fast, and when I run I feel His pleasure. To win is to honor Him."

I, and perhaps a lot of Christians, understand and believe in the first part of Eric's statement - that God made us for a purpose, that He has a purpose planned for us. Many Christians, I think, are straining and striving in search of that purpose. If only they could know what it is, then they could do it, and be content, and know that they are bringing pleasure to God, doing what they were made for. However, Eric doesn't stop in saying he was made for a purpose, he continues, and it is that continuance that I think many Christians find hard to grasp. I know that to me, it was, and in part still is, a mystery.

"He also made me fast."

I don't know if you can relate, but there's something about running. I'm not a hard-core runner, not at all. I don't get into the technical aspects or even the hard-nosed pursuit of fitness, but I do like to run and when I heard Eric speak something inside of me strongly stirred, recalling memories and feelings - almost a deep calling to deep. In the film, when Eric runs, his head tips back and he just lets fly. He puts everything he has into moving forward and as he does so, somewhere along the line he forgets about everything around him and he simply feels. It's a moment of focus and unity and peace. Alone in his path, his body is obedient and driven by his spirit which urges him forward. There in motion his heart is open before God and God is there with him. It is just him and God and a single-focused drive forward. Everything is together, in unity and nothing is held back.

I've felt that before, in England, up on the hills when I went just to get outside. Hiking is wonderful, but there's nothing like having no pack, no big boots. It's just you, free from encumbrance, and able to just charge forward. The terrain rolls, rocks jut, soil dips and as the wind drives you dart forward at full speed. Alert and alive your feet move fast, ably, finding every secure footfall and sending you forward. It's one of the times when I feel most like myself. Enjoying the freedom and the pace everything comes together - body, mind and soul. God is there and I am filled with joy, with energy.

As I heard Eric speak and watched him in the Scottish hillsides all of that came flooding back. As I thought about it later, it occurred to me that this is what I've been missing. It's what I've been looking for, coming back to, but I did not know what it was. Not the running, but the feeling - being able to pursue something single-mindedly with everything that I have, to take joy in something as I pour my whole self into it and, most of all, to feel God's pleasure in it - knowing that God takes pleasure in me living out everything He made me to be. In some ways the thought felt almost too good to be true!

Let me share something about myself. For many years now I have sought to offer myself entirely to God. To heed the words of all those sermons which spoke of availability and service. I desire not to miss anything, or waste time reinventing the wheel, but to believe and to follow that path with all my heart. I have sought to make myself as open as possible to God so that whatever God asks He should never hear a 'no' from me but instead always find me willing, albeit after a little pushing some times. Such I have tried to be, yet of late I have found myself in turmoil. I have had much trouble in making decisions, freezing or deliberating endlessly when faced with big choices. I have found myself somewhat of a paradox. I remember the days at school when I was told , "You'll be able to do whatever you want to do," and I recognise all the gifts I have been given, that I should be soaring through life. The truth is though that I have spent many times wondering what is going on and whether I am even capable of leading a normal life. Gifts and abilities are all fine, but they often seem intangible. Potential but not reality, not a guarantee.

Recently, with many decisions having to be made and therefore much thinking having been done, it has brought me more and more to focus on what I really want and what I need to do. That might sound a little 'me' centered but keep with me because I don't believe that is the case. Some of the questions I've been facing are 'Do I want to get married?' 'What would I want from marriage?' 'If I do want to marry, do I want to do it right now?' 'Is God calling me to it or perhaps to singleness?' 'What is God's call upon me, His purpose?' In seeking to find some answers it became apparent that I could not make such decisions solely in terms of 'what is good', 'what is the ideal', and 'what is the principle'. As I considered things I found that whilst I was able to lay out the general game-plan for humanity quite well with many wonderful truths I needed to find out more than principles. I needed to find out what excited me, what my desires were, and knowing where my gifts lie, search the depths of my heart, not just the reason of my mind.

The 'heart' is a funny subject. On the one hand, the Bible says it is deceitful, it tells us to guard it, but then Proverbs 21:1 says, "The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases." Without going too much into this, I believe it is the case that when a servant of God offers himself up to God, heart and all, that God honours that and takes hold of that life, directing his heart and life. As God begins to uncover the buried parts of that person's heart, revealing the image of who He will make them to be, I believe there is a unity of both principle and passion.

You see principle by itself can teach what is good, but within that realm of the good, passion provides the direction and motivation to move into the future. Eric Liddell's desire was to serve God, he had given his life over to the Lord for that purpose. He had studied God's word and knew truth, yet in filling his heart and mind with God's word he found that there was a passion and a design of God leading Him to run. He honoured God through it, and what a place it is to be able to not only serve God from duty and truth but also from the heart!

I don't think Christians are all cookie-cutter clones who are wiped of their personality and individuality in coming to Christ. All of us should be prepared to serve wherever we can when needed, even in areas where we have no desire or ability. However, in the long term, I believe God designs and uses us for specific purposes for which He gives us the heart. Sometimes we will undergo massive transformation and what we once thought would be abhorrent to us becomes a joy and a privilege. Yet note that it becomes a joy it does not remain abhorrent.

When we seek God as Christians, when we ask for wisdom and direction, when we are making decisions, let us not forget that the Lord directs our hearts and that those who delight themselves in Him are granted the desires of their heart. Let us fulfill our duties, and be committed to truth and principle, but let us also remember that there is something more than these things - in Christ there is the unity of the whole human being mind, body, heart and soul. Let us live with passion and commitment confirmed by the peace and word of God.

And what's more, when we do not have answer, when we cannot settle upon a decision, let us not fear God, which is our tendency, but remember that He is our loving Father. He will not disappoint us. If He is staying silent at the moment it is because He desires us to continue in some way now learning something more before He releases us upon the new path that He has already prepared for us. It's easy to trust God and know He's good and faithful when He bring everything right to your doorstep and everything is in place. When things aren't clear though, that when faith finds its point!

I'll end with one more line from the movie, in seeking the advice of his father Eric is told,

"Eric, you are the proud possessor of many gifts and it's your sacred duty to put them to good use. You can praise God by peeling a potato if you peel it to perfection. Run, in His name, and let the world stand back in wonder."

God bless,
G.

Draft Review: Strongest Silk

2005-11-17T11:23:00.000+01:00

Taking some time to review my unfinished or unpublished drafts I'm going to be posting bits and pieces that have just sat for a while. I hope they're of some encouragement.

Strongest Silk

There is a woman whose beauty is beyond compare,

whose glory shines like the sun;

Her name is not known and her face is not seen yet her work is assuredly done.

Like a fine silken cloth she catches the Wind and dances in glorious splendour,

Yet the Lord holds her fast so the Wind will not pass;

He has called her to harness His grandeur.

So she holds to the mast with a strength not her own,

Ever faithful and strong without tearing,

Here her beauty now shows as she billoughs and blows

with His breath on her back she is soaring;

This woman wastes not her life on sweet tasting strife,

Beauty that's dead - unavailing,

For the ship that He guides now with her cuts the tides

and no storm will ever cost it its bearing.

To the white flower.

Juke Box

2005-10-24T23:07:00.000+02:00

Just to let you know, I recently added a 'Juke Box' section to my lists on the right. It contains the CD's bought or listened to most recently by me. They're also recommendations since I wont post anything that I thought wasn't any good. If you want to know more about anything to do with the music or books I list, perhaps about my preferences, or thoughts on something I haven't mentioned, drop me an email. I'd love to respond. I do thoroughly appreciate all the comments I get, the unnamed Sitemeter hits are nice but to see names and hear thoughts means a lot to me.

Actually, that brings something to mind. I've recently thought about posting an occasional review on a book I've read or CD I've bought. I'm not certain that anyone would be interested in hearing me do that, so I've held off, I've also been short on time what with all that river business.

If anyone has any thoughts or ideas, let me know.

God bless,
G.

The Last Stretch

2005-10-24T22:10:00.000+02:00

Following on from my post about my life options, the other side of things is that these next few months aren't a few minutes. I still have a life to live - but how things change.

After getting back from the airport this morning, one of the first few things I did was make a list of what I need to get done, because whatever the choice for the future, it's going to mean change. So, I've begun the mental process and soon the practical task of battening down the hatches and tying off the ropes. Wherever I end up, it should be in order.

There are a number of items Mum and Reub left behind that I have to ensure go to their proper places. Then I have to look at the left over items and clothes and decide what will be kept and what donated. I'm going through my books looking to see what I will keep, what I will give to those who come to mind, and the rest I might use as a start to a new library system at church - if they go for the idea. This last thing has brought back to mind something I read from Hudson Taylor a while ago. He spoke of how he came to realise, in view of the immense of Christ's return, that so much of what we have - gifts and possessions - must not be wasted but put to good use. Books that sit on shelves month after month and year after year, would be better put to use being read by someone else, perhaps someone who has not the resources or knowledge. Clothes kept away could be worn by those whose backs are bare instead of gathering dust. We need only little in this life, and there is so much turn over. Hudson saw no point in hoarding but in trying to put all resources at his command to the best and most efficient use. I also think of the picture of the Church in Acts 2, and how they shared what they have. Oh the wonderful blessings that would abound if families and individuals in the churches would share between themselves all they have - books, tools, music, clothes, skills, and of course food and money and time. I suppose that brings to mind my post on the OSB and Benedict and how he considered that he owned nothing but was simply taking care of it for God, sharing it with others. That God gives what he gives to individuals but for the use of the Church. What is our concept of ownership?

And so, though it would only work with the understanding and teaching that those who participate are to honour and look after this physical 'treasury of the church', I think it would be a wonderful thing for those who wish to be included, to put on a list all that which they have which they wish to make available to others in the church, to share. What kind of a music and reading library would we see? What kind of things might we all have access to which would normally cost so much? I see no down sides to this beyond a little cost in time, perhaps inconvenience, and in the case of abuse of mis-use, a physical cost. Though I wonder whether Christ doesn't ask us to bear that burden in the pursuit of loving one another.

Returning, though, to my preparations. As I wrote that list this morning I considered also how I should live. I cannot live blindly without an eye to the future, because were I to do so there would be much which can only be done with time that would not get done. I have pieces of writing and ministry ideas to complete - things I can then leave with people here should I go, or that I can leaved posted here should I not be able to return to this place for some time. At least they can be read instead of 'gathering dust' as drafts. Then finally, should I leave, there are so many things I want to say to people, I need to make an aim of taking time to pray for people and write to them the things God, or I, might want to say. Things that otherwise would be left unsaid. What use is it to think a million good things about someone, blessings, encouragement, advice or challenges, and yet to never say them?

This last one has been a challenge to me recently. It is only when there is a soon coming end in sight that I, we, begin to think this way; to make the most of what we have right now. There is not reason though why we could or should not be more thoughtful of, and driven for, one another all of the time. Life is life and time rolls on, I know. Yet it is the sudden and sometimes unexpected stops and changes that begin to show us waste and desire, need and priority. Besides, it might be cliche, but none of us truly know how long we have in any given place or relationship. Why hold on until tomorrow to do that which we can do today?

Finally, a lesson from my brother. The farewell at the airport was a teary-eyed one for all us, but most of all for my brother and his friends. Three of them came to see him off in addition to us, his family. As we spoke to one another and gave out our hugs the emotion for my brother was striking. The tears from his friends' eyes and from his own spoke of the lack and pain they would be feeling. This change was a big one - a significant part of their life was being taken away, and it mattered. I too felt the pull but as I watched I considered, "What would the situation look like were it me saying good-bye to my friends"?

My point is this, whilst some people are just very emotional, for many, especially guys, such displays of emotion show significance, they show real loss and pain. That loss was there because those friends had invested into one another's' lives. They had not lived life on the surface but had plunged in. They had bonded together and they mattered to one another. Not just their ideas, not just their writings or speaking, but they themselves mattered to one another. How do we live life? For those more stoic ones amongst us - and being stoic is not a bad thing, the stoics are needed as much as those more emotional - are we allowing ourselves to truly live? Are we passing up on the very stuff of life because of a notion or an idea of life, a perception? Our relationships are not just opportunities for logic and reason, let us not be too general, but let's get specific. Let us dive in and live by experience also.

More and more as I consider life and ministry I see the value in living life as richly and thickly as possible. I wonder about all those writers and Christians who are learning the Gospel in theory, and the Word of God within their offices and studies. It occurs to me that although many writers have offered treasure in their ink, surely it those who write from experience who offer the most. An exegetical commentary on the letters of John can tell me a lot about what the Bible says about love. However, a simple story from the life of a man who has tried to put those things into practice in the world tells me even more. The two go hand in hand. We need knowledge of what God has said, but we need also the understanding of it in reality. With our friends, we Christians need to not only pray about and tell them what they need, what God might be speaking, and what 'wisdom' is; we need also to offer more than speech. Friendship must be lived, it cannot simply be spoken. Love must be done, it cannot simply be expounded. Life must be lived, it cannot simple be written about.

Well, I shall end it there. I have to go back to my boat and continue sorting things out. There is much left to be cut away, stored, put to use and focused upon.

God bless,
G.

Row, Row, Row Your Boat...

2005-10-24T20:54:00.000+02:00

...gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily..........WATERFALL!!!

That's pretty much how my life looks right now. For the past four and a half years I've been floating down a long and winding river on a journey of discovery, growth and revelation. I've had my share of battles, the most fierce of which were against my own failings and flaws. I've explored new areas of life, ministry and God, and invested myself in projects and positions. Up until a year ago I'd never considered writing, three and half years ago, singing, and a couple of years ago, marriage and relationships. I've wrestled with ministry and the church, so many ideas and passions I can't list them all, and after all this floating I came to this morning.

09:00, October 24, my mother and brother stepped out of the boat and God lead them onto some other path in some other part of the world. Right now they'll be airborne heading East; and only the weeks and months ahead will tell what is to come. As for me, well, after we said our good-bye's, I stepped into the boat, now much roomier, and although in some ways it feels as though it's back to business as usual, it's not, because I happen to know that despite its winding path this river will come to an abrupt end in just over two short months. After that...well that's the question.

I suppose I could just ride the boat until the end, hold on for dear life and see where I end up, but that's more the Ostrich option which is neither practical nor wise. So then, what other options? Well, technically speaking the whole world is wide open, I could go anywhere, do anything, but that's true for any of us - we could at any moment just walk out of the door and leave. We could pick and direction and walk or drive and see what happens. We could pick any notion, make a decision and aim at it. If I started to just daydream and write about any idea that comes to mind I might well write my longest blog to date, which would be saying something. So instead, I'll stick with what have been my major options to this point. The paths which I have been considering taking.

I could choose stay in this locale, and before the boat goes over the falls, take a friend and join a bigger boat heading down an even windier, exciting path. That boat could lead anywhere at any time and offers much which I know not. Certainly this path offers a lifetime of challenges and a lifetime of certain rewards, but the specifics are very few indeed. Though it would be a definite path for my next few weeks and months, maybe years, it is more a different way of following paths and not a path in itself. It has no forseeable end, and it is only a decision to be made once and it is not a decision to be steped into and out of. It's also one that is should be divinely inspired and thoroughly practical, I would not make it lightly.

Alternatively, I could leave this place entirely, maybe with, maybe without, that friend, and head off to other parts. Having landed on the East again, I could take a path which few successfully finish, and I would then be fixed upon that path for the next few years. A great challenge and a great adventure, testing me in ways that have never been explored, travelling around the world, and seeing what happens. This stream is only open to me until mid-way through next year, after which time it will be inaccessible. It's possible something similar could open up at any time in the future, but that is not something to plan on or looked forward to - but instead responded to should the moment arise.

If not that path though, then I could choose to return to the place where I started, before I ever came here. Revisiting all the oldest friends and places but as a new man and in new ways. Spending time alone and seeking God, I could roam the hills, and perhaps fill the pulpits and see where, from there, God might next take me. What opportunities there are here is uncertain. There much of the old that could be taken up in new ways but this isn't something final, but a move towards a crossroads, a tavern, where opportunities meet.

Assuming that God does not bring along another option out of the blue, which is in truth a great possibility - but one which I cannot bank on or prepare for - I have some decisions to make. This is the place where theology, faith and trust meet reality. I've been on paths alone before, yet not in this way. Truly I am master of my own voyage at this point, and life is totally open. I can choose to submit it to God or take it up myself, yet whatever the case, things are now between God and myself only, and no-one else. That is different.

So here I am in my boat. One mile stone has passed, and I am floating down this not-for-long river. Fortunately, for now, I have the company of friends and mentors so I do not float alone. They though have their roots, and depending upon the path I choose, I may soon leave them.

Look Oh Lord. Here is a life. Guide it and use it. Lead it and protect it. It belongs to you.

G.

Keeping Up Appearances

2005-10-11T18:16:00.000+02:00

A lot of men love them, and many more women can't imagine life without them - but do they really enhance one's attractiveness?

High heels. They're everywhere. Most women own at least one pair and believe that sometimes you do just have to wear them. Apparently a lot of men think they should too. Some boyfriends and husbands even require their partners to wear them. Take a second look though. The following articles might open your eyes:

Feet For Life

Biomed Library

Flat Facts About High Heels

Yale-New Haven Hospital

So, yes, high heels are widely considered as attractive - but they also damage a woman's back, knees, and feet. Take a look at the many women in their 50's and 60's who are now suffering with painful knee and back problems; women who hobble and can't walk. Think of the women who no longer have the condition to move freely or quickly, with energy. What's attractive about that? Give me a woman who can smile with joy and enjoy life free from pain any day.

High heels are damaging to health. Guys why would you require your women to suffer (now and later) just so you can satisfy your ego? Women, sorry for the pressure to wear such torturous footwear, really, you are beautiful without those heels. So some fancy gal in Hollywood is looking gorgeous in a skin tight dress and 6 inch heels. We all know just how unreal their lives are anyway, and when she's looking awful at 50 in her big white house, with too much make-up, one too many face-lifts, and pink tutu wearing chihuahua at her side...I'd rather be out taking long walks, enjoying the day with the partner sent to me by God, blessed in the joy of life.

X Marks the Spot

2005-09-26T01:26:00.000+02:00

I just wanted to share a little something that came to me a fortnight ago and which has proven a blessing and help the past week or so.

No shame here, its immediate and most obvious application is towards those who struggle with lust, however, I believe the principle can be applied beyond that to any area of assiduous struggle.

It has been said that the first step in overcoming a problem with a certain sin is to realise that it is sin and so to hate it. This is true. If there is no conviction of sin, then there is no motive or reason for change. What, though, if you have already identified sin and still struggle?

I've struggled with a number of things in my life, and one of the strongest most difficult has been lust, in its various forms. I've read a number of books, talked with people, prayed, and tried every mental trick I could find. Some have helped immensely, others I don't even remember. Let me take a minute to put forward one thing that I consider absolutely vital for every Christian.

Having a mentor, a godly confidant, with whom you can talk openly and seriously is a tremendous blessing and help. Preferably they should be someone older than you, mature in the Lord and of good standing. When it comes to overcoming problems, sharing them is often half the battle. There is a lot of truth tied up in that mystery of James which speaks of confessing our sins to one another before finding healing. I believe it is God's established pattern.

I do a weekly radio show with two heads of drug rehabilitation centers and both advocate, and speak strongly, about the need for and benefit of 'support networks'. This isn't something only for 'addicts' but is something which is simply human. We need others to encourage us, to help us grow, and to help us out. Friendship is vital and if you don't have such a relationship now I'd really like to encourage you to start developing one as soon as possible. Ask the Lord to provide someone and then take those brave step forward into what is at first an awkward situation. Persevere past the awkwardness though, for it is very, very much worth it.

Here are a few main ways such a relationship offers help:

1 - It offers a place of open confession. This does two things. First I believe it honours God and the pattern He established - that we should be under authority and that we should confess to one another. Second, secrecy is a breeding ground for sin. Those things we do not share eat at us from the inside. A friend once said, shame is the darkroom where our negatives our developed! Weaknesses in character and those weaknesses in our life opened up by sin will only be overcome and strength restored is they are confronted - not hidden.

2 - It allows for extra prayer. This is one of those Christian staples everyone talks about but there are many who do not seem to believe in it. Yet the truth is - prayer is effective. It was a regular and aggressive habit of Jesus Himself, and all throughout Scripture we are encouraged and challenged to pray. This isn't for nothing or just to give us something to do! Prayer is a mystery but it is a powerful thing. I encourage you again to seek out the truth of the mystery of prayer. Make a habit of it even if you don't understand it and seek God for wisdom and understanding. Whatever you do pray and seek prayer!

3 - It allows for input. Plain and simple, other people can very often give us a perspective on things which we haven't got ourselves. They can see things we easily miss and they can help to brain-storm practical ideas to solve whatever problem, as well as dig into the reasons behind something.

4 - It can keep you accountable. This is why I strongly suggest someone older than you or at the very least, in a position of authority. Peer 'accountability groups' can sometimes just become apathetic story groups with each person sharing their struggles but having no change come. That's because there is no actual accountability there - what are they holding you accountable to? In fact, some of these can do more harm that good. What's worse than not sharing and confessing? Sharing and confessing in a context which only removes the shame and lets you become comfortable in your behaviour. Confession must be accompanied by the challenge for change which comes first internally and second externally - by a person and or the 'atmosphere'. Proper accountability is wonderful and helpful - though often a challenge and awkward.

I refer you here to Lewis' 'The Voyage of the Dawn Treader' -

"Then the lion said- but I don't know if it spoke- You will have to let me undress you. I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat on my back to let him do it.

"The very first tears he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know-if you've ever picked the scab of a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away."

"I know exactly what you mean," said Edmund.

"Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off- just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt- and there it was laying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me- I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on- and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I'd turned into a boy again.

(For a fuller version - Hope In The Claws)

And so it is with having a mentor - particularly when you have some particular recurring issue to deal with. It can be a pain, awkward and you'll want to squirm out of it if you can, but in the end, you need to muster the strength to sit still, endure it, and you'll come out feeling amazing. :)

Anyway, back then to my original point. What to do if you see the sin but can't shake it. Well, here's my revelation which I pass on to you.

Jesus, in Matthew 6:21, said, "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Some time ago I came to associate that verse with one from Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

Your heart is a spring out of which comes your life. It is that which motivates you and drives you. It is your will, your emotions, your thoughts, your desires etc. Basically, where your heart goes there goes your life. However, your heart must be guarded. Why? Because such a powerful driving force can be influenced, it can be directed, steered. This where Jesus' words come in. For where your treasure is there will be your heart - or - that which you treasure provides direction for your heart. And so we have - What you treasure draws your heart and what draws your heart, draws your life.

I don't remember quite where I was or what I was doing but it occurred to me that whilst I had come to hate the sin of my thoughts and behaviour and was often disgusted with them, there was a flip side - I still enjoyed the pleasure and the thrill - I treasured them. The mystifying beauty and allure of the female body, a physical sensation, a thrill or an excitement those were things I treasured, things that I let retain a special place in my heart. The fear or hatred of sin might keep me away from them for a while, but sooner or later there would come a time where I would be drawn back to those things which amazed and attracted me. I hated the sinfulness of it but treasured the object or what it gave me.

Call it the appeal of things shiny, Gollum's 'Precioussssssss', or some pirates' hidden trove, it is amazing the strength 'treasure' has to keep us coming back and even to influence us to do all kinds of things to possess them. Your heart is a powerful force, yet it is easily swayed. T treasure something is not wrong, it is a system designed by God, however, we have to be very careful what we allow ourselves to come to cherish - and that is the verb. 'To cherish' is to make something a treasure. Sometimes it is an instantaneous thing, many other times we must work at cherishing something, but what we cherish, becomes our treasure and it inspires our heart to drive us to pursue it.

With regards to lust, there are elements, like the female body, that are designed to be attractive and to leads us to cherish - yet there is a time and a place for everything. Single gentlemen like myself must work hard - and let us not shy away from it - to ensure that we do not let our natural fascination and appreciation of the female body gain more presence in our thoughts and desires than is proper. A married man has the wonderful opportunity to treasure his wife's body and to enjoy it, however, it occurs to me that even there he must be careful. Though it is harder for the bachelor, both the single man and the husband must work to ensure that the treasure of the female body does not outstep its bounds. Even the husband can become too obsessed with his wife's body (ignoring the obvious sin of treasuring others' bodies) leading him to desire and therefore pursue sex beyond limits. Here opens the doorway to abuse.

The counter to this is, I think, the effort to cherish instead the whole female. To cherish all that she is and to treasure her as the complete female person that she is. If this is true, then I think we have a very useful truth in our battle against sin. We must learn not only to hate the sinfulness of a thing, but to check our 'treasures'. To identify all that we cherish and then to work hard at refusing to treasure those things which should not have our hearts, and with that, to redirect our affections to those things which we should be cherishing.

The very romantic sounding but actually awful song 'To All The Girls I've Loved Before' says, "The winds of change are always blowing, and every time I try to stay, the winds of change continue blowing, and they just carry me away." What carries you away Mr. Iglesias is not the wind, but your heart, and it carries you so freely because you place no guard upon it.

The wonderful truth is that we are not simple slaves to our heart. You can influence who you are and become. We have control over our hearts, are able to guard them, to steer them - and so we should. We have the ability to choose what we treasure and to dictate who we will be - whether by negligence and cowardice we choose to become addicts or perverts or by facing careful selection and courageous confrontation we choose to be overcomers and healthy, joyful human beings.

I have found it can be tricky at times, but when thoughts and sights come to mind, I have made an effort to remind myself that such things I shall not treasure, for some of it is wrong and some of it is out of place - all of it leading to a place I do not want to go. Additionally, I have focused my efforts on finding those things I should treasure and sought to appreciate those things. Slowly I have found the practise to be of use, especially in combination with prayer, and I'm happy to say it's been a wonderful two weeks since! So it is that I am happy to share this little thought with you, and I hope it is of use to you in some arena or other.

If I may, I'd like to take the opportunity to thank my friend and mentor Steve for his continued prayer, efforts, and accessibility - and his endurance! I'd also like to petition the ladies to remember to consider what they wear. As men, we naturally and almost immediately 'appreciate' what is put before our eyes. When thus our attentions have been grabbed we must work to redirect our thoughts onto other things. Choosing to wear things which do not accentuate or display those particularly attractive areas of your bodies is a great help to me, and to others, and I and we appreciate it - especially in this society where sex sells and beauty is how much you show.

God bless.

Delight

2005-09-19T06:11:00.000+02:00

Psalm 37:4 - "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart..."

"What does it mean to delight?" That was the question I found myself asking as I read this verse. In some ways it seems a pretty simple notion to grasp, but when I tried to pin it down to a definition I found myself struggling.

If I may, I'd like to share with you what I found when I decided to go digging into the word and concept of 'delighting'.

The word delight can be taken three ways; as a noun, and as a verb. As a noun it is simply a great joy or pleasure, a feeling of elation. As a verb it can be used in two ways - a person can delight something, or delight in something. That is, one can either perform the action of delighting something else, or, and this is the more curious sense, it seems one can actively take part in receiving delight from something else. So, the first use of the verb would be to give something a feeling of great joy or pleasure, and the second use would be to actively work at feeling great joy or pleasure. Perhaps it could almost be to make oneself feel great joy or pleasure about something else.

When considering it myself I wasn't sure about this last one, which seems the most significant of the uses in Scripture. Is delighting in something just a matter of recognising that it's enjoyable and then training yourself to enjoy Him? Something didn't quite fit, so I turned to the dictionary.

The definition of 'delight' in Webster's dictionary is thus:

"delight vt. ... < de-, from + lacere, to entice, lit., to ensnare ... to give great joy or pleasure to -vi. 1. to give great joy or pleasure 2. to be highly pleased; rejoice (usually with in or an infinitive) -n. ... 1. great joy or pleasure 2. Something giving great joy or pleasure ..."

What struck me most in all of that were the origins of the word - to entice or ensnare. I hadn't expected that. I thought about it - to delight something is to ensnare or entice it. That sounds a bit sinister. What's more, if I reversed it, then to delight in something is to be enticed or ensnared - willingly. A bit weak willed isn't it? I considered the application of this in the context of a relationship with God, and it struck me. Listen up!

'To delight in something' is to allow yourself to be enticed or ensnared. Not as in a sneaky trap which ensnares you despite your best efforts, but a willful giving of oneself to something that is trying to attract you. Like cake or ice-cream, the thing cannot (or will not) trap you, but you make a choice to be taken in by it, to give in to it - that you may delight in it.

Let me offer another example. It's like a girl who likes you and is letting you know. There's a point where you decide that you can reject her, or instead, you can enjoy that she is attracted to you and get excited by it. If we can remove any thoughts of guilt about these things, be it cake, ice-cream or girls, what you're left with is something good that you can allow yourself to get excited about, enticed into, and then...the experience comes - delight as a noun. To delight ion something then is to set yourself up for the experience, and not just sit around on your bum waiting for it to impress you!

Makes sense so far? I hope so, because we're about to go a little deeper - it turns out that I think there's some Biblical truth to this whole thing. You see the dictionary definition was nice enough, but I figured that rather than just take Webster's word for this verse might mean, I should go and look up the actual Hebrew term used to make sure I wasn't going astray. So I did. Closing Webster's I opened up my concordance and found that the Hebrew word for 'delight' here, is 'anag' meaning 'soft' or 'pliable'...it also happens to be the case that it has a feminine sense about it.

"Okay," you might be thinking, "what does soft, pliable and feminine have to do with delighting in something?" Well, here goes...

'Soft and pliable' fit in quite nicely with the concept of allowing oneself to be enticed. You see, if you're not pliable and soft, then you're hard and rigid and you aren't going to allow yourself to be moved by anything. Chances are you're going to be one of those people who insist that if something is that marvelous, then it shouldn't have any problem defeating your walls, and overcoming you. Now, taking that description, of who does it most remind you? Not wanting to be offensive, may I suggest that the answer is...men? And this is where the feminine part comes in.

Two Halves of Humanity

It occurs to me that this feminine reference is not dictating that 'delighting' is an exclusive feminine action but that it is something which is seen most readily, within the female sex. You see, I believe that the sexes were created masterfully by God and that part of their purpose is to teach truths about God, life and attitudes. I also believe that each sex has something a little different to teach; one sex highlights one set of truths and ideals, and the other another set so that together they work in harmony - two halves of humanity. In the case of 'delighting' it occurs to me that what we have here is a concept that finds its best example within the female sex.

If you think about it, it can be seen that women are wonderful examples of 'delighting'. They are very familiar with the concept of having something become a joy to them by allowing themselves to be taken up by it, and allowing it to move them or excite them. Put simply, women are more naturally 'delighters' than are men; they are more familiar with giving themselves. This is one big reason why they need to be very careful in guarding their hearts; not giving their hearts away - delighting themselves in something - too easily. Pearls shouldn't be cast before swine, but guardedly reserved for the right time and occasion.

Now guys, referring back to what I said before, 'delighting' isn't just a female action. We are also able to delight in things, allowing ourselves to be taken in by them and giving ourselves over to them. This could be any number of pursuits, hobbies or work or also be a woman. It shows itself in us in different ways, has different effects, but when we allow ourselves to be enticed by a woman, delighting in her, we often show it through provision and service. What's especially interesting is that 'delighting' is reciprocal. If a woman captures a man's attention, and he delights in her he feels greatly empowered, as though he could shift the earth, and he's moved to serve. He will work for her, provide for her, give his time and his efforts and his money for her, and he will die for her, no problem. He gives himself to her in service and in sacrifice. When a woman feels his delight through his words, service and sacrifice, she then too begins to delight in him. For her, I think, the delight is more experiential than for him. He feels empowered, but she feels loved, she feels joy - excitement, happiness, and she just wants to be with him. She will serve him too, and she will offer herself to him. What's more, it usually starts with some element of pleasure or attraction - a delight. For him it might be her beauty or appearance, for her more than likely something he does - his manner, hard work, or his pursuit of her.

Men, Women - God and Humanity

Bringing it back then, this blog started in the Bible and that's where it's going to end. What I described above isn't just available in human relationships but also in spiritual ones - in our relationship with God. You see, just a woman shows us how to give ourselves and delight, I think a man shows us how we move the heart of God. When a woman opens herself up, what does the guy do? He serves and he sacrifices and he gives - flowers and jewelry and chocolate! When we open ourselves up, God moves, and as the Psalm says He gives the desires of our heart. But we're not just talking gifts. What is the woman's delight - the gifts? No - the man who gives them. The gifts are nice, but just symbols, she would trade all of them in if she had to choose them or her man. So too, God gives gifts, He grants desires, but they are not the true delight, it is Him - closeness to Him.

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Let us pause for a second though. It is sadly true that there are some women who would choose the necklace over the man who paid for it. Her heart is for herself and for the finery, not for the man. However, a necklace cannot respond, and though she opens herself up for it, it cannot do anything in response. So she uses the man to buy her the necklace, not realising that her delight is misplaced. So it is with us. Thinking back to women, who must carefully guard their hearts, restraining their delight, we must learn from this also.

All of us, men and women, must guard our hearts well, even aggressively. It is easy to delight in all kinds of things. To allow ourselves to be enticed by something and to open ourselves up to it - pour ourselves, and our pearls, out before it. Relationships, pursuits, vehicles, hobbies, vanities, we give ourselves to them, delight in them - but not in God. And for what? Something that cannot respond. It is true that relationships are hard, they require work, yet what would you rather have?

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I believe that a relationship with the Lord – centered upon the Lord - is empowering and encouraging and a joy. It is a delight (noun) that inspires you to delight (verb) and results in even greater delight (noun). The question though, is where does it start? Well, as things stand with all of us right now, I believe the answer is - with us. We should look to our own hearts and see to it that we are 'soft and pliable' towards God, accepting Him - delighting in Him.

I began this with Psalm 37:5, however, if you go back one verse to 37:4 you will find that it says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." I believe that this is the true essence of worship. Within the Bible there were those whose worship consisted merely of sacrifice and ritual, not only in a literal sense, but also in their heart, their attitude. They saw worship as paying their dues to God, doing what is required, and then when done the continued on with their own lives. I believe that it was those people who were never really satisfied with the Lord their God, and who had little strength or courage in turmoil, turning to grumbling at many corners.

However, there were also others in Scripture. People who followed the same pattern of religion as the others yet they seemed to be able to accomplish anything. Their hope did not fade, their faith did not die. Though they were challenged they withstood everything sent at them and their legacy was one of miracles, victories and joyful overcoming. What was the difference? Perhaps not that much in practice, but plenty, I think, in heart.

In Mark 8, Jesus said that those who try to save themselves and keep their lives would in the end lose them, but those who did not hold on to their lives but gave themselves, would gain them. I think this is the secret of those who drew close to God - the David who danced, the Daniel who prayed long, the prophets who sought the Lord hard - all those who seemed unshakeable and incredibly close to God.

They have made God their delight and received back the desires of their heart.

So too will we, if we will delight in Him - if we will be soft, pliable - allowing ourselves to be enticed and captured. Maintaining a relationship - passion, spark - is hard, it takes work. If we get into the attitude that we have always to be impressed by the other and by their actions then things will begin to die. We will suffer from the law of diminishing returns, becoming hard to what has come before and needing something bigger and more potent to meet our 'requirements'. However, if we can learn to delight, learn to receive, and by our will remain soft and pliable - whether towards God or our spouse - the response, the joy, will be there.

How then do we delight in God? We have to learn to control our mindsets, our moods and attitudes. Many find it hard to remain soft with the Lord, some don't even know how to start. They demand that God impress them, that God overwhelm them - whether by miraculous performance, irrefutable proof or some other means. It is upon God to move first, they say...and they're right. . I mentioned that God might be represented in the nature of men. One characteristic most accept is the men are the pursuers and the initiators. The thing is - and this is what I think we all need to remember - where God is concerned He has initiated, and He does pursue. God delighted in us from the start, loved us from the beginning, and in His delight He served, He sacrificed, He gave His life away. Christ crucified and dead is the proof of God's utter delight in us. All He awaits for is a response - whether it be for the first time, or years on when hearts have grown cold. I am convinced, that if any of us suffer from a hard heart, we need only meditate long and prayerfully upon the man of sorrows hanging upon the Roman instrument of death, and we will know God's heart, and it will move us.

In it He frees us, in it He empowers us by His love, in it are all the treasures of God.

"Delight yourself in the Lord..." - Open yourself up to Him each day in response to His delight in you. Soften your heart to hear His voice, allow yourself to be captivated by Him...

"...and He will give you the desires of your heart" - peace, presence, joy, Himself.

If you are feeling hard this day, far from God, look to the God who delights in you, the God upon the cross, and know that His heart is eternally towards you. Soften your heart, and enjoy Him, your delight.

God bless,

G.